Interesting
by Dior Crystal
Summary: Nnoitra finds Ulquiorra interesting, and, get this, CUTE. Ulquiorra does not return the sentiment. One sided yaoi. NnoiUlqui.


**Rated M for sexual language.**

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Everyone thinks that Grimmjow Jeagerjaques is super hot and all that shit, right? Well, I admit that he is a fine male arrancar specimen. And that Szayel Aporro Grantz is oh so pretty. But when a person says the word attractive, the first person that I think of would be Ulquiorra Schiffer. Seriously. What with his huge green eyes, porcelain skin and petite, slender form; he looks so cute. Yes, I just used the word cute.

You can stop laughing now.

…

Still laughing?

WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP LAUGHING?

God. What's a Quinta gotta do to make himself heard here? Honestly, you people are impossible. I may not be the most polite person in the world, but don't you know it's rude to laugh at people? Anyways, you all didn't let me finish. I just said that he is cute. I didn't say that I like him. Hell no. I fucking hate him. I hate the fact that he is the Cuarto Espada. A rank above me. That is fucking unfair. He is like a fucking _midget_, compared to me. How on earth is he stronger than _me_? I find him interesting, to say the least. Interesting enough to want to get into his pants. Hell yeah.

Not that I would ever get the chance to, mind you.

That Schiffer is so high and mighty. He thinks that he is better than me and everyone else below him. I can see it in the way he regards me. Like I'm_ trash_ – his oh so favourite word. Okay, fine, he IS better than me, but no matter. I will one day become stronger than him. Then he will be trash.

I am in the dining hall right now with the rest of the Espada. We all eat together because Aizen-sama wants us to 'bond'. So far, it is not working very well. Even though we all work for Aizen-sama, we all don't get along very well. It probably has something to do with the fact that all of us wants to be the strongest and would not hesitate to cut each other down to get to the top. That is brotherly love for you. I don't think that this rule applies for Halibel, though, seeing that she is a woman. Eh, whatever.

The seats are all filled except for one. The Cuarto Espada has not arrived yet. It is unlike him to be late. I click my tongue, bored. Schiffer is probably just carrying out one of his numerous duties. The little shit gets more work than the rest of us. Because Aizen-sama favors him. If that is the way the favourite gets treated, then I am glad that I am not that ex-shinigami's favourite. I don't fancy the idea of doing a butt load of work every single day.

Just then, the doors swing open and the cutest thing that ever stepped foot in Las Noches walked right in, hands in his pockets, his expression stoic. I lick my lips. Ulquiorra Schiffer looks exactly like he does all the time. Bored, stoic, condescending, uptight, adorable. When he arrives at the foot of the super long table, the lowly Sexta Espada perks right up and says, "You can sit next to me, Ulquiorra," patting the empty seat next to him.

Fuck. You.

Looks like I've got competition. Just the other day the stupid Sexta told Schiffer to blow him when Schiffer asked him to hand that Inoue bitch back to him after kidnapping her to heal that Kurosaki. Not that Grimmjow got it. Some things are just not possible.

Ulquiorra looks over Grimmjow, his expression blank, and gives a slight nod as he walks over to the empty seat.

Damn!

"No! Sit next to me, Schiffer!" I say.

He looks at me like I am stupid. "This is the only empty seat, Jiruga," he points out the obvious. I swear that Grimmjow is practically smirking. The smug air practically radiating off of him is pissing me off. I gritted my teeth, cursing Zommari for taking the seat next to mine.

Ulquiorra sits down and begins eating, taking small, delicate bites. I have noticed that he is a very neat eater. Hardly surprising since Ulquiorra is always neat about practically everything. The only thing that isn't neat about him is his messy hair. But I like it that way. God knows that he would have hair like Szayel if his hair is tidy. That look might suit Szayel, but it would look absolutely ridiculous on Schiffer. He would look like a damned girl.

Not that that would be a bad thing.

I try to picture him in a sexy maid uniform.

Oh shit, I'm turning myself on.

I try starting up a conversation with Schiffer, but he ignores me pointedly. I feel like strangling him. What is an arrancar to do to get Schiffer to fucking pay attention to him?

Ulquiorra takes a drink from his glass of milk and places the glass down as soon as it is empty. I can't help noticing that a few droplets of milk remained at the side of his mouth. He reaches up with a finger and uses it to brush the remaining droplets away. He looks at his finger, and good Lord, he raises it to his mouth and _sucks_ the rest of the milk off. By this time, I am nearly drooling.

Doesn't that stupid little shit know what he is doing?

Apparently, the Sexta has noticed too, because he watches Ulquiorra, looking obviously turned on. Schiffer remains oblivious to the effect that his actions has on us. The inconsiderate bitch.

"Why are you staring at me, Jiruga? What is so interesting that you have to stare?" Ulquiorra's voice holds a hint of annoyance.

"Because I want to fuck you, that's why!" I say loudly without thinking.

I swear the whole table goes quiet. Everyone stares at us, shocked. I feel like scratching their eyeballs out. Why can't they just mind their own business? Ulquiorra does not expect this reply either because he suddenly goes very still. Jeagerjaques looks at me with wide eyes. "Fuck you, Sexta, you damned hypocrite. Don't act like you have never told Schiffer to suck you off before," I spit out. "And failing to get one, I might add," I say triumphantly.

Grimmjow even has the grace to turn red with guilt and embarrassment.

I lean forward. "So how about it, Cuarto? Want to go to my room and get busy?" Since it is out in the open now, I might as well try my luck. Who knows, I might end up lucky.

Ulquiorra stands up, not looking at me at all or giving any sign that he had heard me. "Excuse me," he says to everyone except me and sweeps out of the dining hall, his coat tails flapping behind him. Ignored again! I leer at his backside.

"Me too," I say. And I follow Schiffer, trailing behind him. This way I can get a better view of his tight ass.

When he realizes that I am following him, he quickens his pace, hoping to lose me. Not that that would deter me. We walk for some time until he realizes that it is futile and stops in his tracks, turning his head to look back at me. "Stop following me, Jiruga," he says plainly.

"No." I give him a shit eating grin.

"Hm." He resumes walking. The little shit is ignoring me! No one ignores Nnoitra Jiruga!

"Stop ignoring me, damn it!"

Honestly, I have gotten bored of this stupid game of cat and mouse. So I sonido in front of him and push him against the wall. He does not look surprised. He lets himself be pushed. No surprise there. He is the type to take an attack and endure it to show that he is superior rather than dodge it. He stares at me with those huge emerald eyes of his, unperturbed.

"Jiruga, let me go."

"No." I tighten my grip on his wrists, pinning them above his head.

He sighs. "How like trash to act this way."

I pull my face into a snarl. How many times have I heard that word come out of his mouth? I fucking hate it. I play with his raven locks with my free hand. So soft.

"What do you want, Quinta?" Ulquiorra does not seem to appreciate me touching his hair. "Get your trashy hands out of my hair."

I stick my tongue out at him and lick him at the side of his face. He looks disgusted, to say the least. "Didn't I make myself clear in there just now?" I say, referring to the dining hall. "I want to fuck you." I attack those black and white lips of his. I can feel him stiffen from shock. He did not expect me to actually act it out. His lips are soft, cold. He does not respond to my advances at all. He chooses to stay still, letting me ravage his lips till they turn bloody. Stubborn shit. I come up for a breath of air. He stares at me with that stoic expression of his.

"I want-" I continue, undeterred, biting down on his neck, my teeth sinking into that hauntingly beautiful white skin.

It frustrates me to have him so unresponsive. How could anyone be so expressionless when they are being molested? Trust Ulquiorra Schiffer to be the first one to do that.

"-You." I unzip his jacket slowly, admiring the toned torso that is being revealed to me. Although he did not show it, I know that Ulquiorra is astounded by how brazen I am being and all of the obscene images and meaning that my words bring, I can tell.

I am about to reach into his pants to grope at him (duh, what else?) when I hear someone shout; "Oi, Jiruga, leave Ulquiorra alone!"

Shit.

I turn my head to the source of the voice, spotting Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. That idiot Sexta Espada. What the fuck. Didn't that ass know when to mind his business? "Fuck you," I glare at him. "I can do whatever the hell I want."

This small distraction gave Ulquiorra enough time to slip out of my grasp. I snarl. "Get back here!" He ignores me and zips up his jacket. How the hell can he keep his fucking composure after what I was doing to him? I feel like strangling him. Or taking him dry. I think I prefer the latter. At least it benefits me.

Grimmjow runs to Schiffer, pretending to be concerned. "Are you okay, Ulquiorra?" Oh, fuck you, Sexta. You are so transparent. You are just sucking up to Schiffer just so that he would agree to sleep with you. At least I am more straightforward with my intentions, instead of pretending, you ass.

Needless to say, Ulquiorra ignores him. Once he has tidied himself up, he slips his hands into his pockets and walks off without looking back at us. I heard him scoff the word, "Trash" before he left, though. See what I mean about him thinking of those below him as trash? He doesn't waste his time on trash, which is why he pays minimal attention to those under him. Well, for once, I would like him under me. I lick my lips. '_In more ways than one_,' I think, my gaze fixed on his backside.

You got lucky this time, Schiffer. I will get you in bed with me and take you down a few pegs one way or another. You can count on it.

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**A/N: Decided to do a completely different pairing for once. NnoitraxUlquiorra. This probably the first fic on them. And the last. Just a simple fic, hope you all enjoyed it.**


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